The Art of Being Kind

I must admit, kindness is not always my first instinct. Maybe it’s the way I was raised, growing up in the 90s when “telling it like it is” was celebrated. Back then, people wore sarcasm like armor and wielded bluntness as a badge of strength. Insults often masked insecurity, and to be vulnerable was to be weak.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to believe that while truth is one of the most powerful things we can speak, it must be spoken in love. Otherwise, it becomes noise, sharp and unwelcome. Recently, I led a small Bible study on Bob Goff’s Love in Chaos specifically the chapter on loving our enemies. It was humbling. The term “enemy” may seem extreme, but I’ve learned it can simply describe someone who has hurt us deeply. Someone we no longer feel safe around. Someone we’re still trying to forgive.

Forgiveness is a winding path. I’ve walked it before, and I’m still on it. It can be lonely at times. It can leave scars. And it always, always requires strength that I do not possess on my own. I believe with my whole heart that true forgiveness is only possible with God’s help. It goes against our human instinct to hold on, to protect ourselves, to remember every wound.

During one of our group discussions, someone asked a question that struck a chord. How do we forgive and still protect ourselves when the person isn’t safe? We all nodded in that quiet way when you know the answer isn’t easy. Forgiveness and boundaries are not opposites. You can love someone from a distance. You can show kindness without stepping back into the fire.

And that brings me back to kindness.

I’ve come to see kindness not as a weakness, but as a courageous act. A soft word in a hard world. A posture of humility in a culture obsessed with being right. Kindness isn’t about ignoring truth or enabling harm. It’s about choosing to reflect God’s love, even when we are misunderstood.

Because we will be misunderstood.

People won’t always see our heart. They’ll twist our words, assign motives, and maybe even walk away. But instead of preparing to defend ourselves, we can prepare to love anyway. To stay tender. To stay open.

That is the art of being kind.

Not perfect. Not passive. But rooted in love and strong enough to weather misunderstanding.

So today, I remind myself, and maybe you need to hear it too. We don’t have to react in harshness. We can pause. Breathe. Ask God to help us respond with gentleness, even when it costs us something.

Because real kindness always does.